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Saturday, October 23, 2010

the new birth control

I am making a proclamation! Health, Sex Ed, or Birth Control need no longer be taught the old fashioned way we've become accustomed to...

From now on, all that we need to do to help our youth appreciate the responsibility of parenthood is as follows:

#1 - Have them plan and attend the birthday parties of a handful of smalls.

#2 - Have them install carseats in and out of a car numerous times, and to up the ante, time them.

=  Nobody will be suffering with an unwanted pregnancy.


Thursday, October 7, 2010

chaos theory

cha·os the·o·ry (plural cha·os the·o·ries)

theory of apparent randomness: a theory that complex natural systems obey rules but are so sensitive that small initial changes can cause unexpected final results, thus giving an impression of randomness.

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The older I get, the more I find the theory of chaos to be true, unfortunately.  I wish it weren't so, but there you go.  

I'd love to cloak myself in the confirmation of karma: that what goes around comes around.  But, this just doesn't seem to be the case. I'd love to wrap it up all nicely with a bow, believe in destiny, God's will, or some such other construct.  That would make living with the chaos so much easier.  In fact, it wouldn't be chaos anymore, it would have purpose, and not feel like a random bolt of lightning just blew up your life, even momentarily.

Whether it be the malfunctioning of an appliance, a traffic ticket, a fender bender, or the loss of some important or valuable bauble, we all have felt the heartache, or should I say headache, of these sudden occurrences.  

And then there are times that make the former list pale in comparison.  The tragedy that leaves its mark for life, whether it be literal or figurative.  If we are a metaphorical nucleus, these are the electrons that we try desperately to avoid.

When and why these things happen when they do, or to whom they do, is anyone's guess.  Sometimes they appear to be deserved because of some moronic decision made in the spur of the moment.  Other times they seem to come out of thin air, somehow directed at you to make your life a wee bit more difficult or just fundamentally rock your world.

I have fallen prey to both kinds.

And while I reluctantly believe in the general randomness of events, I try to remind myself that the randomness isn't always equal to a negative.  There are random acts of kindness that one sometimes encounters and that some espouse practicing.  They might not feel as prevalent as the other, but still they occur.  A small comfort.

Yet, perhaps, the only true comfort one can find in the midst of disorder is perspective.

This comes top of mind given a recent random tragedy that happened at my son's school.  A mother, whom I did not know, apparently died from a fluke accident of the most routine kind.  The sort of thing that no one can believe, but, perhaps, could have happened to anyone.  An e-mail was sent out from the head of school, sharing the sad news with the community.  A wave of shock came over everyone who read it.

This woman left behind two children.  Two high school and college graduations that she will not attend, possibly two weddings where she will be unable to dance, and potentially grandchildren that she will not be able to hold, coochie-coo, or burp.  A tragedy, that, even as a stranger, profoundly breaks my heart, because I am a mother too.

So today I am grateful.  Not for the burden of powerlessness the chaos creates, but rather for the moment, independent of what the next moment brings.  For the day's smiles and the hugs at bedtime, and even for any and all irritations felt the last 24 hours.  

I'm lucky tonight.  And so are many of you.  Because, chaos or not, I have now.  And while I have many problems, none are too big to stop my breath, hurt my smalls, or cause tears to flow that feel like they will never be able to stop.  

Today, we are nuclei that have avoided an electron.  Our world, while problematic, is not rocked.

Hug the ones you love, tell the others that you cannot reach for, that you love them too; know that you have this moment, and chaos can't screw with that.